I just overheard a funny convo:

Luke and Ellis had been playing a football match on the Playstation and Ellis disappeared downstairs for whatever reason. Think Luke got bored waiting for his brother to return to the match and this is what I heard:

‘I'm going for bath Ellis’ Luke called down the stairs.
‘A what?’ asked a confused sounding Ellis.
‘A bath’.
‘A bath??’ asked Ellis.
‘Yep’ replied Luke.
‘You’re going for a bath?’ asked confused Ellis.
‘Yes’.

‘Why?’ asked Ellis.

Oh dear god.

Worried about Ray!

Is it out of order to tell rude people at a gig to shut up?

My lovely sister, Harriet, and I went to see The Hoosiers play at LCH last night. Place was packed with a mixture of people/ages. I’ve seen Hoosiers before and love em. Their poppy singles are ok, but don’t do the band justice. In between the predictable chart tracks the band played wonderfully melodic, insisting, rhythmic, soul felt songs and rifts, rocking out when necessary. Anyway, during the support act sis and I found ourselves amongst 6 teenage girls, all laughing and joking and throwing their arms around wherever they liked…we ignored them, although it was hard to (they were really loud and knocking into us a lot, very irritating). So then Hoosiers came on and one and half tracks in and Irwin is strumming soulfully on his guitar, singing his little lungs out and all I can hear is very loud chitter chatter, mainly coming from the oiks behind me. I bit my tongue for half a minute. Then half a minute more. Then, wtf – I’d paid nearly 40 quid for this gig - I turned to the 18 yr old culprit – whose voice I could hear over Irwin’s, and his voice is amp’ed up – and said ‘Do you know the Hoosiers are on stage?’ To which she replied ‘yes’. I stared at her and said ‘well all I can hear is your f@*king chit chat!’. She shut up and I proceeded to enjoy my evening. Am I getting old??

Baker's dozen

Maxi getting stuck in!

Yummy results below:

(yep, that is a reindeer...)

Oh, oh, oh, it's magic!

We’re on day one of half term, I'm so pleased to be off and at home with the boys I can’t tell you. There’s not much that’s more miserable and stressful than going/getting to work when your kids are off school. So today I’ve made lots of plans to get jobs done that I can do whilst off, ie get car serviced, get to dentist, get leaky tap fixed and so far all Luke and Ellis have done is learn card tricks by watching tutorials on the internet and for the past 4 hours they have been practising on me, max and each other, almost without a break. Their enthusiasm is very sweet and their flawed performances funny. I am just so, so glad they choose to be here at home, safe and sound, rather than wandering round the streets, aimlessly looking for something to do…I was very worried that Luke the sheep might want to spend all week with his mates (only last Thursday I had to drop everything and drive few miles to collect him, and bmx, as it had got too dark for him to cycle home – it was only 6pm but I don’t want him out in the dark on his own, am I bit soft?)

Anyway, we’re all rolling up our sleeves now to do a spot of baking, probably not great timing as I am staaaaaaaaaarving and will pick while in the kitchen (although not much to pick at, I got the ‘big shop’ down to 45 quid today). Must keep thinking about the bridesmaid dress, DWTBAFB! Will post pics of end result (cakes and cookies, not big fat belly)

25 Hour Day

Big Premiership match played today, Chelsea v Liverpool. My brood are ardent lifelong LFC supporters and MM’s boys are Chelsea fans (and not just pretend ones, they’ve actually been to Stamford Bridge). We watched the match at MM’s, who kindly cooked for the 7 of us. Liverpool won, the MM clan conceded very politely and my lot didn’t rub it in too much…

I was once talking to Max about MM and was trying to gauge how Max felt about this (lovely, sexy, handsome) guy who has been in our life for almost three years. ‘You like MM?’ I asked, ‘Yes’ says Max, ‘because he’s got Sky Sports and Skips’

Well fair enough, and today he had his fill of both.

Last night I watched X factor with my boys and MM on Messenger. We’re judgmental and are full of opinion. Yeah, yeah, trashy telly but it’s about the only thing I do watch (that and Harry Hill). And I just love, love Austin, a natural singer, full of heart. He sang Mack the Knife and so I immediately downloaded, I mean bought, the Bobby Darin version. O. M. G. That is how, as they say, it’s done. End of. I'm mesmerised. And I’ve been listening to Eva Cassidy all day, which has me hooked. Oh get me some Nina Simone! The telly annoys me, I rarely have it on. But music I have on ALL the time. Music, and more to my taste, vocalists, can be heard with the eyes shut and so transcends telly by miles. The most gorgeous sound I have ever heard is that of my babies singing.

Right, I'm back at home and going to enjoy my extra hour that we’ve been given, it’ll probably involve Merlot and cheese because I really don’t need much of an excuse…

Just wanted to show you how much OJ Ellis generously left in the fridge for the rest of us.

I am blessed.

TFI Friday

Just watching the 'news' and I've just been informed that after 16 years of economic growth we are now heading for a full fat recession. Wow, what a great start to the weekend.

‘What are you doing on your lappie watching telly at 7am?’ I hear you ask, well Ellis has gone on a school trip to France (well, it is only 20 odd miles away so why not?) and so was instructed to convene at half blooming six this morning, oh the joys. I don’t mind, Eli was so excited, however we got to school, in the dark and were the first ones there. As we sat in the car and watched everyone else turn up it did occur to me that I was probably the only parent that had left two children in bed, home alone. It wasn’t a choice I took lightly and I could have ask for another parent to collect Ellis for me, but the school is half a mile away so I was gone for only ten minutes. I’ve done my research and I know that it’s not illegal to leave children alone, apparently you may leave your kids at whatever age you deem appropriate. I often leave Luke to do a quick shop or footie run, but never leave Max. I did today cos I weighed up the situation and fortunately all was fine. Max and Luke slept soundly and NOTHING HAPPENED! I'm one of those mums that doesn’t like asking for help and I'm the mum that always has other kids in the car. I'm going to be collecting Eli from the docks later and picking up two of his friends too. I don’t mind at all, however I really do mind it when some parents take the piss and don’t offer lifts back. I mean there is one lovely boy that I always take to football but his mum never offers to take Ellis, ever, and I’ve never even seen her, let alone had a thank you. And yes, I do go out of my way, dragging my other children around too. I think she’s single, with a few kids and maybe she thinks that I have a husband at home to help out, and that it’s her right to be helped. Humph!

I helped someone very close to me yesterday, nasty job, upsetting, tiring but very worthwhile. I did it as they’d done something to help themselves and so I felt that I should encourage that. I'm not a mug but I will help anyone who tries. And after a year of trying to encourage positive behaviour from this person I think I'm getting through, hope to god I am. Might write more on that subject one day.

I’ve got to go and rouse Max and get myself ready for another day in the office now, whilst all the time ignoring there’s less money coming in and more money going out. Still, it’s Friday, which means I’ll see MM tonight and we’ll surely drown our stressful week in Chilean Merlot aplenty!

(Photo is of a French sunset I took this summer)

Extended weekend

Back to school and work Monday. Most of us don’t have any problems with getting up on a cold, dark Monday morning. I do easily cos I need to earn a crust to feed the clan. Luke the sheep gets up quickly so that he doesn’t miss cycling to school with his mates. Eli is next to rise, getting up relatively easily, if it is only to quench is hunger pangs. Max leaves getting out of bed until the very last possible moment and only after receiving intense nagging from me and threats from his brothers. In his defence climbing down from a five foot high metal bed and negotiating a cold ladder wouldn’t be my idea of waking up either.

From 7am to 7.30am I am standing in my kitchen, by the toaster, making endless rounds of toast and/or muffins. Max will frequently request a muffin and then toast for his ‘pudding’. Whilst making toast I’ll eat my breakie standing up, listening to Moylesy and preparing lunches. Pack ups for Eli and Max and salad for me. The boys’ pack ups are huge. They’re bigger than any other pack lunch I’ve ever seen a minor take to school. They’re healthy (in the most part) and are a never ending source of imagination exercise for me as I agonise on how to keep them interesting. Anyway, this weeks’ favourite roll filler is cheese and salad cream and I baked some homemade flapjacks hoping to a) add variety and b) keep costs down. Needless to say none of the boys like my flapjacks and yes, they were in the oven for a few minutes too long, granted, but they’re full of good stuff, seeds and oats and honey … the birds will think it’s Christmas come early.

Ellis and Max went to a friend’s birthday party after school so Luke and I not only had peace and quiet for a couple of hours (we watched stunt bikes on YouTube and I desperately tried to sound impressed and cool at the same time) and we also enjoyed a meal together. I wasn’t arsed to cook for just the two of us (the more peeps in the house the less inclined you are to cook when numbers diminish. I can imagine a family of six reduced to four one evening and mum saying ‘oh, it’s really not worth cooking for just the four of us…!) I had some - when I say some I mean loads - reduced price ready meal curries in the freezer and so let him choose what he wanted. He chose chicken tikka masala, which we ate on our laps watching Friends, how very Friday night!

Sweet!

Sitting on the sofa with my Maxi, it's Sunday morning, we're snuggled up under a blanket, with the cat. Max says that he's hungry and so I offer to make him breakfast, I suggest muffins. He says that he wants chocolate and asks if I can make chocolate.

'No I can't, only special people can make chocolate'.

'But you're special' he replied.

:-)

(Very) young love

Max is in love with Emily. Emily is also 6 and is in his class, a pretty blonde girl and she and Max often sit alone together in the playground talking about important 6 year old matters.

Emily told Max that she and her family were moving to France, to which Max did not respond well to. He moped about all weekend, not wanting to contemplate life without Emily and he decided he wanted to send her off to France with a token of his love. So while we were shopping in the romantic emporium that is Tesco, Max spied a High School Musical necklace which he immediately wanted to purchase for his love. And so he did, with his own money (£4) and popped it into a decorated envelope covered with hearts and kisses and proclaiming to Emily in his own handwriting that he ‘luffs her’. Ah.

She readily accepted the present, letting Max put it round her neck, and then declared to him that she wasn’t actually going to live in France now (her family has just put a conservatory on the back of the house and never had any intention of moving) and rather than being put out that he had been fibbed to about the French move, he was delighted that she ‘wasn’t going anymore’. And today he came home and told me that he and Emily have planned to marry and that tomorrow she will bring in a ring for him to wear. And they will honeymoon in Bardados (he meant Barbados) and that when they’re married they’ll go to a posh restaurant, on their own.

I congratulated him and hope to goodness that Emily doesn’t break his heart.

Pigs did fly!!

Well, would you believe it?! With absolute astonishment I discovered that Luke was, indeed, vacuuming his bedroom – unasked! …just please give me a moment whilst I get up from having fallen on the floor.

I’ve never, in all my years of knowing Luke, seen him lift a finger without being nagged to do so (tears usually get the idle so and so moving, my tears that is, not his). And yet he took it upon himself to get the vac, drag it up stairs, USE IT and take it back downstairs again – I honestly want to throw my hands up in the air and rejoice to a haunting chorus of ‘Alleluia’.

I think he was prompted by my manic (absolutely no other word for it) tidy up/clear out session I had last night. I manically cleared out wardrobes and bedrooms ruthlessly, feeling my mind get tidier as the black sacks were filled with unwanted items, it was nothing short of cathartic. Luke has his own bedroom and took my lead and actually – hold breath for dramatic pause – cleared out his wardrobe!! He proceeded to do a fine job and I was reminded last night that the carpet in his room was green. Which was nice.

Just a little reminder that you can become a ‘follower’ of my blog (having been brought up in the Catholic faith that does feel a wee bit strange for me to say – I'm not suggesting for a minute that you take my ramblings and deliver their meanings in your own tongue to the unannointed and Gentiles). No, no, it’s just that it’s been pointed out to me that it might not be very obvious to blog readers that you can click on the link on the right and what happens then, I'm not entirely sure, perhaps one of you could tell me!

Right, I’ve just eaten some grilled halloumi cheese on brown toast without even noticing, such is my greed. Halloumi’s fat content is off the scale, we’re talking Extreme, which is not helping with my DWTBAFB diet, which I am now following after trying on my bridesmaid dress yesterday. Let’s just say that the promised photos will probably not make their way to these pages, however I’ve promised Nikki that I’ll do the dress justice on the day.

Off now to balance out the Extreme eating with a nettle tea, infused with a few drops of perspective.

Claire and Sons Limited

There’s nothing like a little crisis to get the adrenalin flowing and reminding you not to get complacent. Indeed, these tribulations that come along and test me and make sure I'm keeping my end of the (parent) bargain, that is to provide food and shelter to my off spring. It’s sometimes pretty hard going doing just that.

I'm in receipt of tax credits and due to the way that they awarded, means that as of the new tax year I will not receive quite so much – now working full time means that I earn more of my own cash. Great, and I wouldn’t have it any other way cos, as those nearest to me know, I am quite proud and fiercely independent. However, if tax credits are there with my name on them I’ll take them, thanks, but the trouble is when I go from working part time to full time and the difference in the amount of tax credit I will receive is, well let’s just say it’s more than my mortgage and insurances put together. Hmmm, quite a drop in one fell swoop and quite a shock which has my mind turning as to how I am going to provide the rudimentary, as per the bargain. (Doesn’t help that yesterday I had to shell out 3 day’s pay to get my drain unblocked…) Anyway, my point is that at times like this, when it’s all brain cells to the problem, frantically figuring out how I'm actually going to cope, that I remind myself that I'm very lucky because I have two options, that is I either sink or I swim. And, as my dad will testify, I am a strong swimmer, and MM says that I'm the best swimmer he knows (yes, yes, I know you were talking about the physical act of swimming but please allow me some analytical license).

I own my house and run it like a business, not that I have any formal training, but it has been the only way that I can function since day one. And so I know that my friends snigger at me for keeping all of my receipts and logging what I have spent but to me it’s just simple book-keeping. I have records of every single penny that has come in, and gone out, of this house for the last seven years, quite literally. This way I produce plans and projections, I kid you not, so that I know how much I have to spend, or otherwise, on x, y and z. I don’t borrow money and I pay for everything in cash. I get paid, I pay the bills and any profit I make goes into savings and pays for holidays and Christmas. I'm sad, I know, but it’s this system of being regimented about logging everything that gives me some stability during harsher times. There’s no guessing, no overspending and I know exactly what I'm working with. And so I hope that I’ll sleep better tonight, having been reminded about what I have etched on my wrist, and that is ‘autonomy’; that I am independent and have the freedom to deal with the tribulations however I wish to and, as I say, I don’t do sinking.

Have got to end here to go and investigate a really strange noise coming from upstairs, Luke's room I think….I cannot believe my ears, honestly, I think I can hear the Dyson being used up there, no, it can’t be, I'm not up there, I'm here on the sofa…but it is, it really sounds like a vacuum cleaner being pushed over carpet and yet I haven’t asked/told anyone to do it, it appears that the Dyson went up the stairs and is working of its own accord. I shall investigate and will let you know.

Catch up

Firstly, thank you so much for those of you who have sent me lovely comments about my blog – I was unsure about how it would be received but am soooo pleased that some of you relate to it and enjoy reading. Thank you again for taking the time to message me xx

Have had another busy week; on Thursday we went to Pizza Hut with my best friend Nikki and her two kids, Matthew and Jessica, old friends that we’ve spent a lot of time with over the years, going camping, doing all the birthday things together, Disneyland and more. Made a concerted effort to take the kids out for a meal and Pizza Hut was the natural choice, due to the half price vouchers that are going round on email. We, as always, had a good laugh together, the kids are like cousins together and Nikki and I work well as a team in controlling them all in public places! Nikki’s wedding in May, I'm chief bridesmaid so watch this space for photos…

On Wednesday we went to the open evening of The Academy – the school which Luke goes to and quite probably will be Eli’s secondary school too. It’s only 12 months old (Luke was one of the first intakes), is a new, flashy building and has a young, dynamic, lively, tanned teaching staff. It has more money than it knows what to do with (even employing toilet attendants, no less) and it has the most up to date facilities and enormous grounds. Great, but none of these things impress me – am not a materialistic person – and so it was with great interest that I listened to the Principal’s speech on Wednesday night, waiting to hear what she, and her designer suited staff, can offer my children. The school has ‘replaced’ a local comprehensive, an under-achieving school which had a reputation for very negative reasons. I’ll be honest, I’ve been worried about the ‘sort’ of kids that mine will be going to school with. The school that the Academy has replaced produced a lot of under achievers and truancy. Luke, the sheep, will be very easily led astray, so it was with baited breath that I sent him on his way in his blazer and tie a year ago. A year on and he’s doing astoundingly well in his subjects, getting higher grades than his targets. And that’s the measurement.

I’ve battled for the last few months about where to send Ellis. I want him to fulfil his potential and so always assumed that he’d go to the boys’ Grammar. One visit to the Academy and I'm now sure that he should join his brother there. Their structure, their policies, their ethos (what a great word!) suits me and my children’s life. We want to learn in a safe, friendly, fun environment, we want to reap rewards of hard work with tangible benefits (plus the very long school day of 8-5 means no homework!).

I went to a catholic girls’ school and, although I enjoyed it, I can see now that it was not as rounded an education as it could have been. I have fond memories of staff and pupils and on the few occasions that I've re-visited the school, I have enjoyed the memories that came flooding back. But my children were born in a different time to me, a different century almost, and, whilst faith and some old Victorian values are very personal to me, they’re not a part of Luke’s life, or Eli’s. My boys are so much smarter than I was, so much more streetwise, so much more popular and I’d be doing them an injustice if I tried to relive my teenage years through them. I want them to do well in sixth form and go on to uni, and if they’re the sort of people to want that then they’ll go. As MM says ‘Ellis will be Ellis, wherever he goes’. And so I base my decision about their secondary education on 21st century living (not swayed at all by the free breakfast provided at the Academy, get in!)

Ellis is doing the washing up, Luke’s doing very important things on the Playstation and Max keeps coming up to me and putting his arm around me. (There are very emotional decisions being made on X-Factor at the moment, Austin’s through, yay!) And I'm ignoring the monstrous pile of ironing and am really excited at what my boys have got to look forward to, even if they don’t know it yet.

Smart arse

Driving to Tesco earlier today, with Max in the back of the car. I was saying out loud what I needed to buy and he said, 'And a battery for my new toy'.

'Oh yes' I said, 'You remind me Max' (meaning when we got to Tesco).

'I just did'. Came his reply.

Yes, Max, you did.

Keepers

Ellis, aged 10, in the car with Auntie Harriet, driving through Ashford.

'Look' he said, 'it's the Teacher Assistant centre'.

It wasn't, it was the TA (Territorial Army)...





Max, aged 3. I cooked him sausages for lunch and Max had two in bread rolls. He seemed to be enjoying his lunch so I asked him if they were nice:

'Malicious!' he said.


(Photo is of Max proudly displaying Humpty Dumpty that he made at nursery)