Sunday 29 March 2009


Max is ironing, I’m (sitting down for a change and) watching the build up to the Boat Race, don’t care who wins but I do like looking at the very strong men....

Max strikes up a convo:

‘Mum, do you know what a soul is?’

‘I’m not sure, what is it?’

‘It's a little ghost inside your body and when you die it stays there and makes you good. I think.’

Cool, that’s explained then.

I have just re-read my last entry, I sounded so happy, and I was. Unfortunately just hours later my mum was ambulanced to hospital, after blacking out and falling three times. She often does and this is usually put down to her heart condition, atrial fibrillation. My sis and I went with mum to hospital and stayed with her until gone 10pm. She was admitted with respiratory failure but we didn’t know why. A week later she’s still there and we still don’t know why her heart and lungs don’t work properly. She’s been on a ventilator this week and has responded to that but I’m hoping to goodness that this can be managed without her needing to be on a machine for the rest of her life. She didn’t suffer any broken bones this time, but did sprain her ankle badly. Mum’s been on a heart monitor all week, has had CT scans, xrays, blood tests and echo scans – hopefully will have some news soon.
Yesterday she started hobbling round the ward.
I haven’t taken the boys to see her as she’s on a heart ward with some very poorly people (I saw a very old lady dying a couple of days ago) but the boys have been very patient with me, dropping them off here and there, up and down the M20, eating rushed dinners and not having any clean clothes or exciting pack lunches.

Poor mum, she lives alone, is very unwell, disabled and is only 56. She called me mum the other day, broke my heart. Get well soon mum, we’ve got to plant your summer seeds.

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